Deviant Rambling

It has been 18 days into writing 500 words a day and I believe I’ve officially written more on any one piece than I ever have at this point. I’m over 11,000 words which is almost double the size of my self-published short story.

There haven’t been any issues with this pace at all and I continue to be energized by the experience of recalling the details and describing them to the best of my ability. Revisiting the journey in my head takes me back to all of the stops along the way and makes me feel as though I’m out on the road.

As with the real life road trip, there are many detours along the way in my recollections, and I am just including them with an appropriate note to let a reader know they are veering off course. It is the best way I can come up with to make productive use of my tangential way of thinking. It also jars loose some of the feelings I was having at the time and lets me further examine them in the sober light of years.

This is a really fun story to work on, so I hope the fun comes across in the work itself. It won’t be up to me, I just have to write the thing, and that feels like it’s gonna be a treat the whole time.

I have been tasked with writing an article that describes things that kids can do as an enrichment activity and one of the things on the list is creative writing.

The first sentence that came to mind when I considered this as something for kids to do is:

“Creative writing is a sure way for kids to go broke by the time they are teenagers and ensure that you will be financially supporting them their entire lives.”

Obviously this sentence will not make it into the piece, but it was the gut check response to what it means to be a writer and that it might not be the best choice for a kid, or hell an adult. It isn’t for everyone, but I suppose if anyone can stand the potential poverty and loving something that can’t love you back, it’s a kid.

There are so many better options but if your child has caught the bug, all of my pity to you both.

I’m 11 days into my new approach for writing and I can say without a doubt that I should have been tackling projects like this all along. In the space of that time I have added 5,663 words to my book and looking at that number is encouraging as hell.

The number of words I started on had sat still for several months because I kept thinking of the book as this monstrous thing that I needed to get done in one grand sitting. But that was insane. I’ve never experienced an inspiration that would have lasted nearly the amount of time it would have taken to get this story out of me. That goes to show the point about inspiration from another angle. When you are in the grip of it, you DO believe that it can last forever, because every word feels like a discovery and it invigorates you.

As with things in the sober light of day, outside of the intoxicating effects of inspiration, the experience settles down and cools off, and it’s at this point you can lose the thread entirely.

I’ve only committed to 500 words a day and that is a thread I can consistently keep track of. Every day makes it better.

The steady approach to writing seems to be a much better way at getting results, and I’m over a week of 500 words a day now. It isn’t a crazy goal every day, and the results are more than I’ve ever achieved through the short, miraculous bursts I’ve received during windfalls of inspiration.

This doesn’t mean I will deny inspiration if and when it shows up, it will just act as a supplement to the consistency of the world count regimen I have established. Having an occasional burst of an extra 1,000 or more words will make the overall project easier, and these inspired bits typically don’t drain me of energy. They have a way of invigorating me for the overall work, but they aren’t sustainable, nor can they be summoned at will.

Inspiration is a fickle thing; consistent effort is what is required to make a work that stands the test of time. It is my desire to create such a work and have it serve as my contribution to the world.

The desire to write anything and everything toward the progress of my next book has taken ahold of me.

I’ve already exceeded my target daily word count of 500 and I want to keep writing but I don’t want to exhaust the source for the days in the future. My concern is that it would be wise to get the words out now so I don’t forget them later, but I don’t want the fevered pace to adversely affect the end result.

A marathon is still a race, after all. But as with all tasks that take a toll over the duration, it is best to pace yourself.

It feels incredibly encouraging to make progress on one of my projects. I can feel the pressure to tackle this monster task releasing it’s grip upon me with every 500 words I complete.

I know that there will come a time where getting to 500 words will feel like giving birth but today it felt like I could keep going for hours. There is no rush, so I am not pushing my luck. When I feel as though I have come to a natural resting spot, I will call it a day, knowing I’ve met my goal and the extra just helps eliminate days from the end when I’m ready to start editing down.

At this early stage, I’m culling nothing, and I know that may be problematic to the end product, but I’m only concerned with today. Everything flowed freely today and it’s a win.

I have started writing the road trip book I have put off for no apparent reason and I have committed to writing 500 words a day toward that project. It’s a commitment to myself and to the universe to get this story out of my head and onto the page.

This will be in addition to any paid work I acquire along the way. It’s a minimum that I need to shoot for to make something of this story that needs to be told.

Today is day one and I’m on my way. Six months from now I can have a completed book.

Now that there is truly nothing happening and I feel as though the dust has settled almost entirely on the past, what is stopping me from going for it, creatively?

I say it to myself all of the time and today is another such occasion: If you can’t do it now, with the least distractions possible, how would you ever hope to do it with a traditional set of responsibilities? The answer is that I absolutely wouldn’t be able to, so I need to get to it. In terms of freedom to do as I please, it will never get any better than it is right now.

Time to get writing on one of these projects I keep saying I will get started some day. Today is some day.

And just like that, any illusions we may have had about the time of year have blown away with the first gust of the 40s. The trees join us in recoiling from the cold, seeming to shiver in anticipation.

The clouds put on a moody display almost daily and I’m in love with the amount of colors, from the ground all the way around. Still green at the base, a burst of yellows and oranges in the middle, and the blue and gray above almost take on a violet shade from time to time. Everything is represented.

I don’t mind wearing the lighter layers so it’s still not a hassle just to leave the house but I know what’s coming. The thought of having to fight so hard against the environment just to get outside is a source of months worth of frustration that start soon.

I have to fight these frustrations and get out in the sun, dim as it may be, for my sanity and plummeting levels of vitamin D.

If today were the day I died, would it feel auspicious, inconspicuous, or like just another Monday? I suspect that for the overwhelming majority, it would go completely unnoticed, and I feel the greatest sense of loss about this fact.

Not for anything I may miss, but that I may have had such little impact on the world that my passing is uneventful. Save for the tragedy it may register as to my friends and family, it will be, by and large, just another Monday. Just another number in the ranks too large to ever feel real, preceded by all of those before me of a similar fashion.

I know that I am capable of avoiding such a fate, as sure as I know that it won’t matter in the slightest because I’ll be dead. I suppose I want what anyone wants, to be remembered fondly by anyone who should happen upon a memory of me. To know that I did everything I could in my time to ensure this was a better place than it was before.

So how can I make it a better place today?

Fearlessly, recklessly hoping seems like a fine start.