In a funk.

I’ve been in a funk the past couple of days. The reality of money has come back to be an issue. If it weren’t for the debt I took on in the name of the business, I might have more empty space in my mind to occupy with positive things.

But there in the background, it lurks. When I start to feel like I’ve gained on it and can put it out of my mind, it rears up. Fighting the presence only seems to give it more weapons so I surrender. This can toss me headlong into sadness. All of the “should have” and “could have” arguments surface but are meaningless after the fact.

I never should have leveraged my personal credit against a business’s debt. Now I am the only one who can take care of the problem that should have never existed in the first place. This brings up feelings of resentment toward others but the feelings are misguided. I must accept responsibility and find my way out of the rut I am in.

Less thinking, more breathing.

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