The irony of my stance.

In my opening research of the gigs available to entry-level writers, I am noticing recurring themes. For blog writing, it is all about making sure to cleverly disguise all of the keywords the client needs in their posts. They are telling you what to write, but not how to write it.

Since these are, albeit low, paying gigs, it is writing for money. But I see this as shady or disingenuous for some reason.

The irony is not lost on me here.

I am trying to make a living getting paid for the words I choose and the order I place them in. If someone else tells me the words and anything about the order, I see it as somehow less valid. This is a ridiculous stance to take, as it sets me up for failure. It makes it hard, if not impossible, to distinguish between the two types of writing, and I cheapen both of them in my mind. Then I convince myself that my original pieces will be to achieve the same, hollow goals. If I can effectively convince myself of this made up fact, I stop writing entirely and part of me dies, death of a thousand cuts style.

It is incredibly easy to get into your own head about what you put out into the world, create arguments for why it should never see the light of day, and perform a conceptual abortion. It’s a good deal harder to be completely vulnerable and release what aches to be out of you.

I push myself further every day to find the courage to be completely vulnerable.

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