We have never been more divided as a nation than we find ourselves in 2024. I do not come by this observation lightly.

Instead, I have felt the tension rising steadily over the past 8 years until it became a part of every day life. This year brought the most contentious election cycle I have ever seen. Instead of staying within the confines of the party machinery and the diehard supporters, it spilled out into the general population. It could arguably be traced back to at least 2020 when the combined forces of an election and a pandemic caused unprecedented tension and hostility.

We have now become so entrenched on our sides of the divide that we address the opposition with open hostility. This is a completely untenable situation that can only end poorly. We all have the ability to stand down but everyone refuses to.

I am guilty of this 100%. I have felt a visceral anger towards Donald Trump since 2016 when his victory undermined any faith I might have had in our institutions. This has evolved into a general sense of contempt for anyone who openly embraces the cult of personality that follows the man. It has names like MAGA and Trumpism, and it represents every value I disagree with in one movement. The people who have been swept up by this behave like members of a cult. This includes but is not limited to a series of handy, easy to remember mantras, a uniform that is unambiguous and immediately recognized, and a blind, unyielding faith to their glorious leader. These people have placed their future in the hands of one of the worst human beings to exist. They have gone so far as to pledge their service to him in an attempt to undermine an official proceeding and steal an election on January 6, 2021.

Now, every time I see the uniform in any configuration, I make a mental note and the person registers as a threat until I’m no longer in their presence. This used to be confined to seeing people online on videos and whatnot but as the Trump contagion spread, all of the swag started to show up in my hometown. Flags started going up, red hats galore, ridiculous slogans on shirts sported proudly, and I began to take notes to myself. These people were proud to support what may turn out to be the first candidate to run on an openly autocratic playbook.

It’s more than that now, too. I feel sick when I see houses flying the American flag or people wearing overtly patriotic clothes.

We are not a country worth bragging about or celebrating any more. At this point I struggle to remember a time when we were. But I don’t struggle at all to remember the attempted indoctrination we all experienced growing up. The pledge of allegiance, god included in every classroom. The “yay America” feeling around national holidays. None of it stuck with me. I had my suspicions from a young age that none of it made any sense.

I have since determined that I am very much anti-patriotic. To me, it is obvious. If a country is to be revered enough to be patriotic to, it should inspire reverence. My country deserves suspicion at best and contempt at worst. The best I have ever felt about the United States is indifferent or neutral.

The events of my late childhood, early adulthood, and through midlife have proven to me that my assessment was correct.