There is a near-constant flow of thoughts I have that I should be doing more to create. I should be making the world a better place somehow. The direction is not obvious, but appear to be limitless.

“Prove it or shut up.” – This becomes the mantra of my mind at any given time. It is at once triumphant and defeatist.

I spent some of my time today writing another test article and it was about the meaning behind song lyrics. I enjoyed writing that and it was completely effortless. But I recognize that kind of opportunity isn’t as common as the less than ideal ones which involve SEO. I hope to build that relationship through my creativity alone, and if I am able to do so, it is a form of proof I need.

Formatting, structure, etc. are all set on a project basis and are often provided in an outline. That makes it easy to put content together, but it is still up to me to create all of it.

When the guidelines are looser, closer to improvisational, I can do the work for hours and enjoy it the whole time. It engages my particular brand of creativity immediately and completely. Today’s assignment was one of those. I started building according to the general guidelines, and before I knew it, I was done. And it poured out of me in such a fashion that I don’t fully understand where it came from.

By my estimation, it was also thought-provoking and well-written. But the gauge of effectiveness is different than the one for what is interesting. Just because a piece is well-written, doesn’t make it an effective tool for the business trying to use it to monetize a page. I continue to struggle with setting aside my need for depth in favor of optimization. Writing to drive search results and traffic to improve sales feels… fake.

But anything I would do that isn’t pursuing my creative life is fake by default. It is a resignation that I’m not good enough, and I am. It’d be nice to not have to constantly convince myself of that, though.